When Sensitivity is a Liability
I don't like the term self-expression because the self is a social construct. In writing fiction, I want to ignite my imagination and move beyond myself and conjure others, who are at once specific and universal, known and unknown.
Very recently, like the day before yesterday, I had a breakdown, a disintigration that was extremely painful, but possibly led to a new awareness. Thanks to Dr. Elaine Aron for her groundbreaking research on the HSP/HSS combination. This explains much of my oddness and ongoing feelings of otherness. http://hsperson.com/about-dr-elaine-aron/
If you are a peson who has often been criticized for "being over-senstive" then you may be an HSP/SPS Highly Senstive Person with Sensory Processing Sensitivity. You may know things about people that they never told you, or have premonitions before things happen (mostly bad). This isn't magical soothsaying. It happens because you're hardwired to be highly tuned to nuances in your surroundings, which most people don't process. But remember we live in a culture where sensitivy is often a liablity. And sometimes life as an HSP is extremely painful. Read more about HSP/SPS here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person
There is a surprising amount of research behind it.
Please understand that I don't view this as a disorder. And I don't view myself as a victim. Nor do I view most people low on the Autism Spectrum as having a disorder. To me these differences constitute cognitve diversity. I'm fasinated by the full spectrum of cognitve/emotional experience and perception. I attended a graduate program that emphasized diversity. Sadly, it was only skin deep focusing on cultural and ethnic diversity. Cognitive diversity was never mentioned, and when I tried to bring it up I was dismissed as being odd.
If we acknowledge people's inner lives and how they view the world, we decrease their alienation. Beyond cultural constructs of self, lies a rich nonhierarchical base of diverse perception and cognition. Perhaps if we acknowledge and accept cognitive diversity, we'll stop arguing about who is right, and affirm the multiduinous realities created and maintained by Qualititative differences in perception.
I want to tell the story of my recent disintigration, epiphany, and sythesis, but this is probably getting too long for a blog post. I have to work on my next novel and escape myself for a while....